Ballads of a Bred Souljah V 1.5 Read online

  Such a horrible sin

  Am I guilty of?

  Had I killed 2 much?

  That I lost touch…

  Of my hu-manity

  Abandoned by sanity

  Returned 2 this crazy world

  Tossed from another

  I have lost my brother

  Fingertips trying to hold on to my mother

  Plagued by nightmare

  And I can’t seem 2 care

  My soul I bare

  But They tear and tear

  Death seems so near

  My life done dis-appeared

  But do I care?

  Support Our Troops

  Torn pages

  My heart rages

  It amazes…

  Me how…

  This world’s so hypocritical

  Watch you climb up

  Then kick you down…

  But I refuse to just rot in the ground

  Cremate me

  Burn me in the flames that you gave me

  How can I sanely ask the Lord to save me?

  In a world so crazy

  They’ll probably kill Him if He came

  Do Souljahz die in vain?

  Amount to nothing but dusty stickers

  And forgotten names

  But ain’t nothin’ changed

  Countless others going through the same

  But who’s to blame?

  What dwells in the blood of the slain?

  It’s still on my brain

  4ever stained

  From a war in vain

  U Can’t even fathom my pain

  The introduction

  But can you feel without touchin’?

  Like a baby born grown

  So much unknown

  I stepped away from my world 4 a moment

  But now I’m back

  Unsure if I want it

  Sometimes haunted by passed memories

  Sit sipping’ on a brew like it’s Hennessey

  I just don’t remember me

  So many things are empty

  Shocked from the shell!

  Did I die?

  Is this Hell?

  Or is it resurrection

  So many questions

  No more rifles

  And no more vests man…

  Just the Cess in my chest man…

  Stress suppressed in this mess man

  As I stand in burning quick sand

  So Damn

  Like I’m kin 2 Satan

  So many curses I can’t hear my bless-ingz

  The Rules

  I give you half

  You give me double

  Don’t pay

  There’s trouble

  Let knuckles touch you

  Or get dug through

  With a rusty nail

  Follow the rules

  You don’t fail

  Don’t lust

  Don’t touch

  And never pick up

  What’s not-your-stuff

  Keep your thoughts 2 yourself

  Trust-no-one-else

  Wolves with tucked tails

  Don’t let them bluff you

  Trick, steal and f#$k you

  Get your own Hustle

  Feed you own needs

  Sweets to eat

  Nicotine or weed

  Plant the seed with what you feed

  Read Read Read

  Don’t be weak

  Watch the words you say

  Especially to whom you speak

  Cracks will leak

  Sweat

  I wake up and my body’s wet

  Is it the stress?

  Or just that my body sweats

  To lessen my body’s temps

  I cannot recollect what last night I dreamt

  But I still feel by what it’s meant

  Arise already spent

  My eyes are full of lint

  Mouth dry

  And my body’s covered

  Smothered

  I can’t breathe (I fear to take another)

  Drowning as my pores bleed

  Can’t wipe it from off me

  Buried ever so softly

  Under the depths of this wetness

  Stressed and restless

  In this cage

  I am baked

  The flies invade

  Barely awake

  Is this the end of my days?

  Lord knows it feels close

  Vision blurred

  I see ghosts

  Through these bars

  Within these walls

  In every bead that falls

  From my flesh

  My brow

  My chest

  They crowd my nest

  Pain escapes their chests

  Crowds out my breaths

  Now less

  My fouled guests without rest

  No longer in the flesh

  Mine they possess

  I rise in this Sweat

  Beggars and Leaches

  Beggars and leaches

  Suck you dry

  Leave you in broken pieces

  So very hard to believe it

  He came running

  Comical, calm and cunning

  Or sad and sick with nose running

  Wanting to borrow something

  Tears coming

  On your coat tails tuggin’

  It’s hard to say “fuch him”

  So you reach in your pocket

  Just to stop it-all that teardrop isht

  But he’s relentless

  Now comes the “best friend “mess

  A steady rising debt that he won’t address-got you stressed

  Licks his lips wet when he steps in your direc’

  Boi! I’m hungry!!!

  You always wantin’ somethin’ from me!!!

  I wasn’t talkin’ to you!!!

  That’s awfully rude

  People do what they’re allowed to

  Slowly they crowd around you

  Like Hounds do

  They come with hands out

  Your kindness makes you stand out

  Everybody else got their hands @ their Damn mouths

  While you giving hand-outs

  Mad when the water in your well done ran out

  Your throat is parched and dry

  But don’t be surprised

  Drink the tears you cry

  As they pass on by

  No reply to your askin “Why?”

  You feel defeated

  Sodomized and cheated

  How could you not have seen it?

  They kept taking pieces

  Beggars and Leaches

 

  Endless Pearls Holding On

  Endless Pearls

  My Imagination is vacant

  Call it lack of concentration

  Drownin’ in patience

  My pen is waitin’

  To be taken

  Weary of my hesitation

  But I lack the motivation

  Can’t crack the separation

  Between desire and action

  Like climbin’ a mountain without traction

  I’m back in…

  The very same position

  Condition

  Only date and time is different

  The clock doesn’t stop

  Some call it Writer’s Block

  Before me is a wall

  As wide as the horizon

  And twice as tall

  I take a leap of Faith

  And still I fall

  Smooth as a marble ball

  And just as white

  It glows silvery bright

  And then one night,

  With my eyes shut tight

  I felt a slight shiver (Divinely delivered)

  Quickly I ran to my Mind’s Rivers

  Dropped in 2 sets of 5 fingers

  For so long….

  I lingered

  From my fingertip

  Not a single drop dripped

  On my return trip

  I caught a glimpse

  Of what I didn’t see at first

  What I thought a curse

  Quenched my thirst as I wrote these words on Endless Pearls

  Holdin’ On

  Sometimes I hold myself

  When I can’t reach no one else

  Wrap my arms around my flesh

  Possess

  All that I own

  Born alone

  Die alone

  Although it sounds wrong

  That’s how it belongs

  I tell myself “be strong”

  “I am here for you to lean on

  When everyone will be gone

  Both Then and Be-yond”

  I make me warm

  In this frigid

  Life I live it

  I am who I have to live with

  ‘til I let go my breath

  Where go I next?

  So I hold my-self

  Into the depths

  Hands cross my chest

  A vest of flesh

  I’ll sacrifice myself

  For myself

  ‘cause no one stands to my left

  Do you see what I have said?

  Or it I alone that’s listenin’?

  Speakin’ into the mist again

  Leaning against the wind

  When it is within which I should depend

  Or have I gone off the deep end?

  Because me, myself I befriend

  All the rest…

  I do not see them

  Especially when they have no fee-lin’z

  How then can I feel them?

  Some- one-tell

  Until then….

 
I Hold Myself

  Dedicated to My Beloved Mother, Brothers and Sisters

  Struggle

  Faith

  VICTORY

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